মঙ্গলবার, ২৭ অক্টোবর, ২০০৯

Rosana
My main concerns are balancing responsibilities, and how women can do it if they put their mind to it.


I am 21 years old and a wife and mother. I'm majoring in educational psychology as I would like to teach later on or train teachers, or become a school councillor.
College is very important to me because I believe education is the most important element to a developed people.
But so are my husband and my baby boy. These people are the most important people to me right now, because they're the source of my happiness and my joy in life.
I also love reading. It makes me feel open-minded, educated and knowledgeable about other people.
I've been keeping diaries since I was 13. Writing, to me, is like self-expression, almost like my own personal counsellor. Reading and writing have a special relationship with my life.

Rosana with her husband and child
Rosana hopes to balance home life and a successful career
Recently my husband began a new business selling bread. I feel so happy and proud of what we've done as a couple. We've helped each other and used our strength to build this business together. We wanted to do it to become more independent.
In 10 years, I see myself as a happy mother and wife, because I think that's the most important thing.
And after that, if I become a teacher, I will finish my higher education, Masters and Phd and maybe perform more psychological research, maybe become a school councillor, maybe become a writer... I don't know yet.
For now, I'm just enjoying my life with all those beautiful things in front of me.




The following comments reflect the balance of views received: This debate is now closed. Thank you for your comments.
All these negative comments, especially from Western readers about Muslim women getting education, having dreams in vain, reflects nothing but the deep rooted jealousy and hatred of their self-centred ideologies. The high moral values of the noble women of the Muslim world cannot be stomached by them. They also want our societies to be as corrupt and degenerated as theirs, they always want to see us in trouble and suffering, no matter what we do.
Haroon, Pakistan

Education for women does not necessarily mean that she has to work. Education elevates the women and helps in bringing up her kids. Islam honours the woman even more than man. The Koran and Hadees (teachings of the prophet) explain in detail the importance given to a mother in a saying that "Paradise lies at the feet of the mother". We don't need any media to explain how Islam treats women. I must admit that certain Muslim countries are behind in giving the rights that Islam gave to the women but this is a political or social problem in not implementing Islamic teachings.
Yasser, VA, USA

It's encouraging to read that these women are trying to get education and set an example for the others in the society. Interestingly, none of these women talk about politics. If we look at the youth in other parts of the world, most of them seem to be taking interest in the affairs of their government.
Rohan, New York, USA

I congratulate these courageous and intelligent young women. I must say though, the juxtaposition of such wonderful ideas, dreams and hopeful minds, against the backdrop of a highly unequal social system which discriminates so much against women - this made me sad. All the more urgently, this system needs to change and allow these women freedoms and opportunities to investigate their interests.
Anonymous


I am so glad that women of my country are opening up and starting to realise what's important to them, rather than having people setting their goals for them. It is very pleasing to see that women are starting to push themselves to work and get the best kind of education. I myself studied abroad and am currently working at a male-dominated profession. I advise all women to work hard on what they believe in and ignore all the negative feedback they will get along the way.
L, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

What is it with you people? Why is that everything Muslims do is wrong. Everything about them is wrong. Ask this question to yourself, how long did it take before European women became active, before they had the right to vote? Up until today, there hasn't been an woman president in the US, but if you look around Muslim world, there are is woman PM, president and so on. It's OK for a Christian sister to cover up, it's her religious belief but for a Muslim woman to cover up is oppression.
RK, NY, USA

If Saudi women can't "go out" as much as they wish these days, why not start raising their children whose orientations, breeding, or ideals embody their (Saudi women) aspirations or the changes they would like to see in the future. As these children grow old - and will man their society, they will bring about the change. Upon the children of today the future lies. Their orientation of today will spell the change. Mothers have all the chance and opportunity to mould a better generation of citizens from their very own children. It's all in their vision. Start early. Start from your very own.
Voltaire Rio Lemi, Gonzaga Cagayan, Philippines

I am surprised that some of the readers think that these women would actually spend time away from their families in order to pursue a degree in vain. What information sources are telling us that these women cannot constructively use their higher education? Saudi is changing fast - it's not what it used to be and women have so many more opportunities compared to when I was growing up there in the 80's and 90's.
Aya, Richmond, VA, USA

We in America can learn from experiences from women in other parts of the world. I have had the opportunity to visit the Middle East and was surprised to find that Arab women are some of the strongest women I have ever met. Their roots with their families and religion run very deep. I was very impressed with their dignity, high levels of self-esteem and desire for higher learning. I feel that because of my exposure to the Arab women I was positively influenced. We in America can learn so much by their strengths. They clearly demonstrate a strong sense of compassion and support towards each other. Truly, some of the most amazing women in this world.
Rosanna Jennett, Malibu, California, USA



I lived in Riyadh and I found the women to be smart and intelligent but the Religious Muttawa have an iron-grip on their freedoms. To vote, drive a car, join the workforce and contribute their talents to the nation's economy. That is the real shame and one can only hope that things will change.
N. Hunt, Lodi, USA

I am really surprised at the negative comments of some of the readers. It seems that even when Muslims or Arabs are presented as individuals with goals and dreams, it is still not enough. These women should be congratulated and we should learn more about and respect them. I lived in Saudi for two years (as an instructor in a Teachers' College) and was always surprised at the talent, uniqueness and promise of many of my students.
Abdul-Qadir, Princeton, New Jersey

It is great to see the example of an active Muslim woman, who is able to fulfil the inner home commitment and also the dream of any human being - looking forward to a healthy career in life.
Abdul Ludhi, England

What is point of getting very good education, if you cannot go out work in your own country. I know the main reason for education is improve oneself and others. You cannot contribute to your own society. We seen the wind of democracy blow across Eastern Europe. I doubt anything will happen like that in Middle East - since they are not interested in protecting their religion rather than rights of individual.
V Shanm, London

Asma
I got married at an early age and that had a huge impact on my life. It was a learning curve with huge responsibilities.

I'm trying now to get used to being responsible, especially now that I am getting ready to become a mother. The most important thing to me remains finishing my studies.
It is not an easy task for someone who is a housewife and a mother-to-be, but studying and getting a university degree is a priority for me.
I am trying to achieve a balance between home, husband, pregnancy, studying and my social life!
I'm studying how to deal with children, how to educate them and raise them in a good way. Understanding the role of religion in educating children is, for me, a must in building good families.
I hope I can finish my studies and get a good job, so I can become an productive person in society. I would like to build a nursery and try a new teaching method which helps kids to love the environment they study in.
This could work if I can plan well and get my plans accepted by all future employees in my nursery.
The most important people in my life are my mother and father; I will never forget I owe them a lot

I am also interested in cooking - my husband is encouraging me a lot in that direction. He told me not to waste my talent and to think of starting a business at home or elsewhere.
Perhaps I could, one day, open a restaurant and give the people something special in terms of food, environment and design.
I am also toying with the idea of starting a special clothes shop for women only. I hope that my husband will manage, decorate and design it and I will then choose what will be sold in it. We don't have many places like this in Jeddah.
Still, the most important people in my life are my mother and father and I will never forget I owe them a lot.
My husband, too, plays an important part in my life; he always encourages me and supports me in everything I do, from my studies to fulfilling my dreams. He makes me feel very rooted and happy.




The following comments reflect the balance of views received:
This debate is now closed. Thank you for your comments.
Hello Asma, women around the world are trying to find the balance. I think this balance is probably easier in Saudi because of the strong family support system and the abundance of domestic help which is affordable due to immigration and labour laws in the Kingdom. Is this at the expense of others from third world countries?
Melissa dos Santos, NYC, USA

I m sorry, but seems to me that these teenage girls are too optimistic. I wonder when they going to get stuck in the Saudi "moving sands". To say that I want to balance pregnancy, university, husband in KSA looks pretty much easier than its realisation. More than half of the population in KSA is younger than 18 and I just wonder what part will manage to achieve what they want. Most of the time at educational institutions they just study religion, which is a strange way to teach an realistic approach towards life.
Pepek, KE, Slovakia

Asma, I really enjoyed reading about you, your life and your dreams. And it is really great that you and other girls like you were given the opportunity to express yourselves, as there is a need in today's community for awareness about cultures and lives from around the world. Living in the USA, a lot of people are unfamiliar with the good values the Arab culture holds. I'm hoping that stories like that of yours will show people around the world that the Arab woman has a lot of talent to offer to this world.
Seema, USA

I am an American who knows the real Saudi Arabian ways as my daughter and two grandchildren (both girls) live there. It is very difficult to convince other people in my country that every Saudi woman is not treated like property. My son-in law is a good person that treats all of our family with the utmost respect. The thing I love most about the Arabic culture is the close-knit families. I believe that is what life is about, love for God and family. Education is a very important part of using all of our God given talents for improving ourselves and in turn being the best we can be. I commend you ladies for your perseverance.
Charline Hadley, Wagoner, OK USA

I am really impressed and wish Asma every success in her life. It is nice to see these Saudi women in a different way to the oppressed, battered and unloved women who are depicted in the media.
Wafa Younis, Montreal, Canada

It is wonderful that you have a husband who supports your ambitions. I love your idea about opening an all women's shop where you live and also trying to create a learning environment for kids that they love. Even in America, creating an atmosphere that kids love and thrive in is a very big challenge. Maybe in your shop you could have all female designers and sales clerks so that more women in your community could be a bit more financially independent. I also think that it is really great that at such a young age to be married and have a child, or at least it is a young age in America, that beyond parenthood you have many other ambitions.
Izzy Becker, Los Angeles, USA


It's very inspiring to read about these young ambitious women from Saudi Arabia. I most respect about their view, vision and commitment. They set goals of life to better others not themselves, which the girls from the Western world are lacking. All they could think is date, fashion, drinking and parties. No commitment to themselves, let alone to others.
Lily Liu, Santa Rosa ,CA, USA

To the BBC, I will like to say is very commendable that you have taken a step in the right direction. The aims and aspirations of these young girls clearly has an indication that if they are given the chance they can really prove themselves. I live in a similar Arab country where the rights of women is not a factor in national development. Is a good thing The BBC has organised something like this , but I think more areas are yet to be covered.
Mahmoud Nuruldeen, Sebha, Libya

It looks to me like only a few privileged women have these kinds of opportunities, the ones with money can get away with more freedoms but the lower classes are more subject to Islamic restriction. Still, you have to start somewhere and this is a positive start. Hopefully more Saudi women will get away from expectations of women and more towards what these women are doing.
Derek, Canada

I don't know how representative these stories are; but if they are a fair cross section then it shows clearly the nature of the propaganda we are usually fed in our country about the social climate in Saudi Arabia. There are those with a vested interest in propagating a view of Arabs as somehow alien and particularly of their women being universally repressed. This is not the picture shown here.
Vince Millett, Croydon, UK

It is good that you are fulfilling your desires while remaining in the cultural boundaries - and most important is your husband understands you and helps you. Keep it up.
Shamweel Sohail, Pakistan

Free time is a luxury that most of us enjoy and would appreciate more of. But in doing so we must keep in mind that every second that ticks by comes to an end and does not return until we are called to account for it. I find it amazing how these women prioritise their time between education, ambitions and family life. A lesson is to be learnt here for many alike.
Mohammed Islam, Birmingham, UK


I love hearing from young ladies around the world and especially in the Middle East on how they want their lives/careers to progress. I'm from London and I can honestly say I don't know that many girls over here who have such dreams and in some cases any dreams for themselves which is baffling to me as there are so many opportunities over here. Saudi girls really are very smart and although I don't agree with many Arab/Muslim ideals, it really is great that they can find a balance and have the support they need to move forward. Well done to all of them, I hope they reach their goals and go on to lead fulfilling and happy lives.
Michaela, London, UK

It's nice to see these beautiful Saudi women in a different light than just the oppressed, battered and unloved women that are depicted in the media. Unfortunately that does happen; not just in the Arab/Africa world but all over the world. Whether they choose education, motherhood or a combination of both it is encouraging to see that these women have chosen their own paths with their own free will and still acknowledge their religion is a beautiful thing.
Dawn, USA

I am really very impressed and wish Asma every success in her life.
Farooq Iqbal, London, UK






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Last Updated: Tuesday, 5 April, 2005, 11:22 GMT 12:22 UK
My life: Saudi Arabian women speak
In the conservative Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, women often struggle to get their voices heard.
Lama:
22, student

Rotana:
21, student

Abla:
22, student

Rosana
21, student

Baiyanne:
17, student

Hasna:
27, translator

Asma:
21, housewife

Although women now make up more than half of all graduates from Saudi universities, they comprise only 5% of the kingdom's workforce. They cannot vote, take an open and active part of public life or even drive a car.
The BBC spoke to eight young Saudi women, aged between 17 and 27, who attend a private college in Jeddah. The women have revealed snapshots of their lives and spoke of their aspirations for the future in a country which has long constrained their freedom.
Their stories form part of a BBC World Service Trust project called My Life, which focuses on educating young women in various Arab countries through the innovative use of media and asks them where they would like to be by 2015. It is conducted jointly with BBCArabic.com.
You can comment on each chapter using the form at the end of each woman's story.


The panel may not be representative of wider public opinion.



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20 Sep 04 |  Middle East


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